Be Boss and Bitch - start achieving your life goals today!

You've got ideas. So many ideas. You're coming up with new ideas all the time. Problem is, you never do anything about them.

Not only that, but you struggle to even get through the normal tasks you need to. We'll focus on new ideas because they're more fun, but what I'm going to tell you works for both.

If you’re anything like I was, you'll know what I mean. Sometimes great ideas appear in your mind like a glorious epiphany and then drift straight leaving barely a trace. Sometimes you talk about them with your friends, your family… you make a commitment to get them done. But nothing happens. Sometimes you even write them down, start planning, even take initial action. In the end though, they go nowhere.

Be your Bossy Best

This bit is what I've come to call being your own boss. Getting the great ideas, coming up with good strategy, you've even got the pitch nailed. The problem is that just like in real life, bosses need someone to carry out the actual work. Without anyone to actually do stuff, without staff, employees actual grafters… nothing happens.

I'm guessing you don't have staff. Fact is, you need to be your own bitch. You need to carry out the mundane tasks that go along with your plans. They're not going to action themselves.

Manage your Lazy Bitch

The boss stage is totally necessary, but you need to step up your management game. You bitch isn't as resourceful or as creative as you. Your boss self needs to tell your bitch self what to do.

Now, I'm not talking Sméagol and Gollum. You don’t have to look at your reflection in a swamp and chat away to yourself. You don't even have to dress up as anyone else. It's a lot less psycho than that.

No Room for Excuses

What you do have to do though, as boss, is set your bitch very clear tasks. You need to break tasks down to as low a level as needed. You know your bitch better than anyone, you know how they're lazy and unmotivated. You know that anything that can prevent action will prevent action. As boss you have to prepare their workload with this in mind. Identifying the mundane tasks and come up with a to-do list. 

When to be What

There's going to be times when you're naturally inclined to be a boss and other times you're going to be a bitch. Maybe you have great ideas when you're lying in bed, but are devoid of any genius in the morning - great, be your bitch in the morning. Maybe it's the other way round, maybe it's different days, after work, weekends, whatever works.

You'll know yourself though. You know, there are times when you just can't be bothered to think... That's when you need to be the bitch.

Ok, so that's the story, how do you actually do it? Well, here are the steps that I use. For most of them you even get to be the boss:

Step	Role	Action	Outcome
1	Boss	Come up with idea	Feel like a genius
2	Boss	Write it down	You're taking this seriously
3	Boss	Work out what needs to happen? Maybe track back from the end goal	You have a list of high level milestones
4	Boss	Breakdown the first milestone into tasks - shorter the better. You need to make it easy for your lazy bitch	You have a to-do list for your bitch
5	Boss	Identify when your bitch needs to get stuff done - set a reminder, include start/end time - your bitch will skive if not. This could be writing, researching, making phone calls, making a shopping list, checking for competition.	Calendar blocked out or alarm set. You've booked in time with your bitch
6	Bitch	Do the top task on the to-do list	Momentum!!
7	Boss	Review and reassign or move on to the next task	Progress!!!
8	Both	Go back to step 6 if your list is not completed	Starting to see real results
9	Both	Go back to step 4 if your milestones aren't completed	Changed the world

Get to it!! Achieve your goals

Now you know what to do… This is your chance, right now! Take an idea (I bet you've got a few bubbling round in your head). Write it down, have a think about the end point, what needs to happen. It doesn't have to be detailed, just high level. Get as much out of your head as possible. Put a list together and set a time for your lazy bitch to start working.

Live long and prosper crack on bitches

The ONLY chat up line you will ever need!

We've all been there!

WOW!!!! They could be the one!!!! 

The way look, their movement, so confident, their eyes, so much personality! You can feel it in your body, chemicals are sending all sorts of signals to ever part of your body. Just a glance at them and you're already hooked!! So, what happens next?

You do Nothing!!!

The same as you always don't. This blog has the small step you need to change this habit.

Analysis Paralysis

As Geeks, we over-analyze everything. Most people stress about approaching someone they fancy, for Geeks its 10 times worse. The thought is paralyzing. It's like a bad dream, you can't move, you're short of breath. Obviously, you don't act on it. It's not even that you decide not to talk to them. You were never going to talk to them. You can't talk to them. That's not what you do. You wouldn't know what to say, you don’t know where to start.

You go home alone, as always. You think about them and what you could have done. What you should have said, some clever line. You mull it over and over, phrasing and rephrasing. Not too obvious, something funny, you're clever, you can do this, you just have to remember it. You're like Travis Bickle from Taxi Driver, rehearsing in his mirror.... "You lookin at me?".

We all do it, we go over and over what we should have said. What we should have done. But then next time comes, across the room you notice them, and again YOU DO NOTHING!!!

Let's Look Objectively

You've got yourself into a bad habit. You've overthought it and built things up to be way more stressful than they need to. You need to take a step back and look at things. You're a Geek, you're clever, you can look at things objectively. So lets break this down into some sort of steps...

• You fancy them but you don't know what to say. You're nervous, so a big speech or clever line will be shaky at best. Even if you nail it, things sound very different out loud or they could easily mishear your linguistic acrobatics.
• You have 7 seconds to make an impression. Even before you speak, they have formed an opinion and clever words are not likely to change someone's mind
• They might fancy you. If so, chances are they are just as nervous as you, maybe even more so. If you do nothing, you will never know!
• You just need to break the ice. You're not looking to win them over with a single clever line. That wouldn't work on you, it won't work on them
• You have nothing to lose, so lets agree, you need just talk to them. You wouldn't be reading this if you didn't want to.

But what do you say? Well, you need that make this as easy as possible, not just for you but also for them. You need something that is:

• Easy to remember
• Natural
• Hard to mishear
• Confident

This blog is about Small Steps, so here it is, This is the killer line. Get your notepad out…

Just say: "Hey" and smile.

Go over within a few seconds of noticing them (that way you’re less likely to seem creepy) and just say “Hey”, and smile. Then chat, ask about them, talk about the place you're in, compliment their outfit, their watch, their jewellery. The hardest bit is just breaking the ice

Think about it. "Hey" is also completely inoffensive. It's quick. It's totally natural. Sure, not everyone is going to reciprocate, but nobody is going to think less of you. Chances are, they will talk to you... remember, you're only trying to start the ball rolling.

Give it a try next time you see someone. What have you got to lose?

Go well Geeks

Live long and Prosper

Unhappy Geek? This 1 small step will change your life

• Brain the size of a planet, yet nobody appreciates you?
• Talented and witty, seen as arrogant acerbic?
• Want to look good, no clue where to start?
• More able than your colleagues, they get promoted?

I'm here to tell you that it doesn't have to be this way. Nothing is set in stone.

I was an Unhappy Geek

A complex mix of high self-esteem, low self-confidence and deep neurosis. Pale, scrawny, unfit, harsh, unpopular, scathing and disdainful. I wallowed in this state and thought it was just the way things were for me. This was my lot in life. Over the years though, I got lucky. Life took me on a journey that forced me into constant evolution.

My Life Changed

I went from school to an engineering apprenticeship, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I was on a factory floor, working lathes and milling machines, welding. My colleagues had a very different view on life. These guys weren't into Star Trek. It couldn't have worked out better. After my 4 years I was a lot more streetwise.

Following that I studied Computing Science at uni as a mature student. Going from a harsh industrial environment to the rather loose word of academia was a relief but again I had to adapt. I went from being the clever one, to just another student. I got a bar job, in Newcastle-Upon-Tyne, one of the party capitals of the UK. Engineering gave me an edge, bar work opened my eyes to socialising, to girls, and especially aggressive Scottish Hen-Do's.

I got into Athletics and met yet another group of people. Disciplined, determined and not impressed by anything outside of sport. I was decidedly average, my intellect recognised even less than at uni. Again I learned new people skills but also self motivation and resolve. I embarked on a career in consultancy. Travelling the world, often alone. Yet again, another change, yet more experiences. Different cultures, different pressures, having to learn on the spot, often thousands of miles from a support network.

Still I Stayed the Same

Despite this life changing journey, I still wasn’t happy. I wasn't forming solid relationships, I didn't like how I looked or who I was. I wasn't happy that I was a Geek. This was the cause of all my problems, or so I thought. I wanted desperately to be seen as 'cool'. The fact I even used that word should have been an immediate red flag.

I was constantly trying to be something else. I had learned so much but had concentrated on external factors. Despite developing skills, changing and adapting to everything thrown at me, I had never really looked inside. I hadn't accepted who I was. I would constantly fight against myself, denying that I was a Geek. One day though, it all changed.

I am now a happy Geek

Still a complex mix but now with high self-confidence, humility and only slight neurosis. Healthy, fit, amiable, popular, complimentary and admiring.

One day I just stopped trying and things started to fall into place. I'd reached a point in my life and my career where I stopped caring so much what people thought. A weight was suddenly lifted from my shoulders. I no longer had to spend effort trying to present an artificial front.

The 1 small step: You're a Geek. Accept it, Embrace it, Own it!

You are a geek! Don't deny it or try to hide. Accept it, embrace it and use it to your advantage. Allow it to help you adjust and change, but remember that none of us will ever be happy if we are not being ourselves.

I've leveraged my intelligence to help others, allowed my love of Sci-Fi to amuse people and help build relationships, I used my obsessive tendencies to research ways to improve. I The more i accepted the pros and cons of being a Geek, the more comfortable i became in my own skin, the more I could focus on improving other aspects of my life. Everyone can do this, it just takes courage.

People will respond differently to you. People can spot a fraud, we all know when something is not right. They will be more comfortable with you. They'll no longer see you as the arrogant nerd with a chip on their shoulder. They'll appreciate the quirky and unique person you are and more...

• Your intelligence will be useful but won't define you.
• There will be a mutual appreciation between you and others.
• Confidence will not be a problem, you will look and feel great.
• You will achieve success at work by helping others improve.

Until next time…

Live long and prosper